Accentuate the Positive! · Beauty · Books

“Live Alone and Like It”

Timeless advice for the single gal

As someone who has lived alone for most of my adult life, I haven’t always liked it. But growing older and wiser makes me glad for all the many blessings: a bathroom to myself! No one to wake me up by snoring. I can eat whatever I want, whenever I want!

One of my favorite blogs is Apples and Roses, the blog of Dorothy Cummings McLean, who once wrote Seraphic Single, blog full of advice for single women. She recommended “Live Alone and Like It” as “the most enjoyable book I ever read on the Single Life.” As I adore McLean’s writing, I immediately ordered the book.

Vogue editor Marjorie Hillis published this slim volume (only 154 pages) in 1936, back in a time when a woman past the age of 25 was considered “on the shelf.” Her book became the eighth most popular non-fiction book of the year and one of the best sellers of the decade. Obviously, attitudes were starting to shift.

This charming book reads as if your chic, worldly-wise older aunt or cousin came over for cocktails or tea and decided to share her wisdom. The language is delightfully dated: Hillis speaks of a woman’s “beau” coming to pick her up, and that scrambled eggs and sausages are favored at the “smartest debutante parties.” The twelve chapters cover everything from how to furnish your home or apartment, the necessity of keeping up with the latest styles – not spending money you don’t have, but never being dowdy – as well as the morals of a single lady. (“A Woman’s Honor is no longer mentioned with bated breath and protected by her father, her brother, and the community. It is now her own affair.”)

Never, never, never let yourself feel that anybody ought to do anything for you. Once you become a duty you also become a nuisance.

Chapter Two, “Who Do You Think You Are?”

Her breezy chapters chock-full of good tips close with case studies of single, divorced, or widowed ladies who demonstrate their good sense – or who serve as a warning to others. My favorite was case study XXV: the lady who knew how to spend a weekend alone: spending Saturday at the beauty salon while her housekeeper cleaned, taking a good tub soak at home before enjoying dinner served on a tray by said housekeeper, then relaxing with breakfast in bed the next day. Sounds wonderful!

This is your house, and it’s probably the one place in the world where you can have things exactly as you please.

Chapter Six, Setting for a Solo Act

The many mentions of bed jackets and satin pajamas make me think of Eva Gabor in “Green Acres” – but they also make me want to upgrade my wardrobe immediately. Every single woman deserves that luxury!

Beauty · Books · Cooking · holiday · hostess with the mostess · just plain fun · Something wonderful · Thanksgiving

Let’s read and eat this holiday!

This year’s Thanksgiving, I’m keeping it minimal. No two main dishes of both Turkey and Ham, no 12 side dishes, no pie and cakes (plural) for dessert.

It’s a bare-bones Thanksgiving dinner: ham, one side dish of green bean casserole, and one recipe inspired by something I read: Bourbon-Berries. The recipe I got years ago from Gabriel Mallor’s recipe exchange on the Ace of Spades website. Sorry, no picture of that – but it looks delicious! I’ve already made it in advance of the holiday and it is chilling in the fridge.

I smile and shake my head thinking about the Thanksgiving extravaganzas I’ve put together in the past. Last year I brined the turkey for the first time ever, taking the recipe from the Pioneer Woman’s wonderful book: The Pioneer Woman Cooks: A Year of Holidays.

That lovely book, a gift from my sister-in-law (who knows me well) helped me create my aforementioned Thanksgiving extravaganza. There were so many dishes on the table that as we were finishing, I exclaimed: “I forgot the carrots!” Or some such extraneous side – I can’t remember now. Everyone looked around and laughed. And Dad, ever the wit, said, “Well, Thanksgiving is ruined!”

Cookbooks – books that please twice

Anyone who knows me knows I love to read and I love to eat. It’s just too bad for my waistline I also love combining the two. Reading cookbooks is one of my favorite pastimes too – if you truly want to learn the history of American food, how it developed from the colonial days, suffered through the “better living through chemistry” boxes and cans of the middle 20th century and has enjoyed the renaissance since the early 70s of Alice Waters and other chefs, NEEDS to read’s James Beard’s classic: American Cookery.

I bought this book from a kiosk in the old Dutch Square Mall in spring 1985 – the year James Beard died. In a fit of religious zeal I had just decided to do a Lenten fast from Diet Coke and sweets – I was so ambitious those days! Therefore, I was hungry. So naturally I had to buy a cookbook. But this cookbook – it was an inspired choice. If I had to save one cookbook from my house in a fire, it would be this one. All the beautiful illustrated cookbooks by Susan Branch, the Moosewood Cookbook, the Pioneer Woman, *even* The Joy of Cooking – I’d leave all those to burn up if it meant I could save this book.

Beauty in the word and image

I adore the writers of cookbooks who not only write delicious recipes, but also illustrate them with beautiful artwork they’ve created. I love both cooking from and just admiring the ones I own by Susan Branch, an artist/writer/cook who lives on Martha’s Vineyard. I started with her first book, Heart of the Home: Notes from a Vineyard Kitchen, and now with the change of the seasons, I’m cooking from her aptly named Autumn. Just look at these beautiful covers and pages – all hand-drawn:

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you, and may you cook something special this year!

Accentuate the Positive! · Beauty · Christmas · Family · Gratitude · holiday · Something wonderful

Still shining brightly

This Christmas tree always brings joy

This is a re-run of a post I put up several years ago – which is a reprint of an article I wrote in 1993 for a small weekly paper. When my parents downsized they gave me the tree. Enjoy!

Tonight I put up the tree I ā€œinheritedā€ from Dad when they downsized to a patio home. Hereā€™s the story I wrote about that tree 17 years ago for The Georgia Guardian newspaper. Tomorrow or Thursday Iā€™ll post pictures of the decorated 2010 tree. Tonight youā€™ll have to make do with a picture of Pickles sitting underneath the tree:

Pickles poses by a copy of the original story of our family tree. Dad loved the story so much he matted and framed it. Once you read it, youā€™ll see why.

Pickles underneath the Christmas tree.
Pickles poses by a copy of the original story of our family tree.

A Tree for All Seasons

First published in the Georgia Guardian, Dec. 24, 1993
Copyright Jennifer Rust

Every family has its Yuletide traditions, and ours is no exception. Weā€™ll be going to parties, attending the Christmas Eve candlelight service at church and decorating the tree. Yet we do something lots of people would never dream of: We pull our tree out of the attic each year.

Yes, we have an artificial tree. During my impossible-to live-with teenage years, I continually referred to it as the fake tree. I would groan and roll my eyes each time my dad pulled it out of its box, telling the story of how he bought it in 1968 for only $15. (What a bargain, I can hear him say.)

When I was in high school I would beg my parents to buy a real tree. We could decorate it with strings of popcorn and other ā€œnaturalā€ ornaments. But each year weā€™d re-assemble that same old tree, sticking branches into the holes on the trunk pole and bending them into place so theyā€™d look right.

As time passed, my brother and I graduated, left the house, got jobs. Now, I have only a few days at home to celebrate the holiday. And Iā€™ve noticed a change in the way I feel about that tree. It happened the year before last, when my dad said, ā€œI think we might replace this one with a new tree.ā€

You would have thought he suggested we replace Mom. I gasped, ā€œNo! You canā€™t get rid of this tree!ā€ Even as I said it I realized why.

Because of all the laughs we have putting it up each year ā€¦ because all the made-in-kindergarten ornaments look just right on it ā€¦ because weā€™ve had it for 25 years, and how many things last that long? Heck, that tree is the same age as my brother Bill and weā€™re keeping him.

That artificial, fake but eternal tree has become so much more than a decorative centerpiece upon which to hang the ornaments. It is a symbol of all those Christmases past and all the memories we share. That glorious fake fir has become a holiday tradition of its won. I wouldnā€™t trade it for the most majestic blue spruce around.

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Accentuate the Positive! · Beauty · Gardening · Hobbies · Podrick

My how the garden has grown….

In the image above, Podrick is inspecting the Iris. I’m so grateful a previous owner planted these beautiful bulbs. And I’ve managed to keep them alive – no credit to me!

It is thrilling to see the plants coming up. Now I have to search for YouTube videos on how to know when they’ve finished growing … I’ve never grown spring onions or garlic before – when are they “finished”? When do I get to harvest them? I just did a search – and I cannot believe how many wonderful gardeners there are out there who have posted helpful tips on when to harvest garlic – and how. The word on Spring Onions – 8 weeks after sowing. Which is in about 2 weeks … I think. Perhaps I should start writing down when I sow the seeds. Ah, improvement for next year, and anything else I plant this year.

Spending hours on Gardening YouTube

Since it is raining now I have the chance to look at YouTube videos (again!) Looking at gardening videos is now my favorite form of web surfing. One of my favorities is GrowVeg, run by a lovely British man. This morning he taught me the best way to take care of my newly sown carrots.

Thanks to this gentleman’s tutelage I’m now investing in pallet collars for my next raised bed, and to replace the broken-down bed I’ve currently jerry-rigged together with baling wire. Actually after perusing the available options I may not – Uline.com wanted $151 for freight shipping for 2 pallet collars! That was more than the price of the items. Home Depot doesn’t have them. Argh, back to Amazon.

I’m so excited about the potato plants coming up I had to take pictures to share with you all. After many more YouTube videos I quickly realized I should have poked more drainage holes in the bottom of the five-gallon buckets (another lesson learned) but at least I’ve put them up off the ground slightly, to aid in drainage. The plants look terrific.

Those odds and ends of wood always come in handy in the garden.
Continue reading “My how the garden has grown….”
Beauty · blogging · Cooking · Gardening · Hobbies · just plain fun · me

Hello friend; going my way?

Welcome to all the new readers who’ve joined and signed up for updates. For the past six or seven weeks, you’ve been getting a weekly post about my spiritual journey. I hope you all stick around as a pivot to a blog about my hobbies: baking bread *yum*; cooking all sorts of things and sharing recipes; volunteering at my church, reading, reading, reading, and reading some more as I balance two book clubs; writing something besides this blog; and finally, going deep on gardening this summer. I’ve bought so many plants, potting soil, seeds, and more that I can truly relate to this meme:

Seen, felt, heard.
Accentuate the Positive! · Beauty · Gratitude · Introspection · me

Moving toward the Spirit, part 7

Thoughts on growing in faith. Last in the series. To catch up: part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6.

My quest to draw closer to Jesus continues, no matter where I go. At times I’m very good about devotions in the morning, praying and reading my Bible; most of the time, I honor daily devotions in the breach by thinking about it for a few minutes. And then feeling guilty. Every time I deviate from my ideal I realize that I’m falling away from relationship with the Lord. He doesn’t move away from me; I’m the one straying. That’s one of the reasons I’m so grateful for the Anglican Book of Common Prayer. The structured Morning Prayer, Evening Prayer, and sometimes Compline have been a super way to keep me praying, reading Scripture, and spending time with God. Not that I do them all the time. Like I said, I’ve been much better at observing them as something I should do.

I decided to get a leather-bound copy of the 2019 Book of Common Prayer. Built to last!

When I discovered podcasts devoted to morning prayer, I was thrilled. Finally – a way to listen to Morning Prayer while walking my dog! (Usually, I’m listening to something that isn’t filling my head with good news.) CotA’s church plant, All Souls, created the wonderful 10-minute podcast Lord, Open My Lips and I use that. Another way I’m focusing on God is to go to the Wednesday morning Eucharist our church offers. I’d been off and on, but on my birthday last October, I decided my goal for the next year was to go each week. I’ve been more often than not and I’m keeping on.

It’s not usual to find an Anglican running around in my part of the South; anybody seeking out liturgy is usually an Episcopalian. Most of my friends today in Columbia are Southern Baptist. That only makes sense, because 1) I spent 20 years in a Southern Baptist church, and 2) the top three religions in South Carolina are Baptist, Methodist, and SEC Football. But over the years my spiritual journey, ever since I was 12, has led me to going to where I truly think the Spirit of Truth is. I felt that in my time with Wesley Monumental, with Lamb’s Chapel, and then RHBC. Right now, that is in the Church of the Apostles, a member of the ACNA. In my Apostles 101 class I loved how our past Dean (that’s a fancy Anglican word for the head priest at the cathedral church of the Diocese) described the church: the place where the Scriptures are rightly taught and the Sacraments observed. At least that’s how I remembered the saying. And everywhere I’ve gone, I’ve been looking for a place that carefully paid attention to the Bible and actually believed it.

I think I’ll end my journey written journey here, with part 7. It is, after all, the perfect number.

Accentuate the Positive! · Beauty · Gratitude · Introspection · me

Moving toward the Spirit, part 6

This is the next-to-last post in this series. If you need to catch up, just look at the previous five weeks of posts!

It started with an Excel spreadsheet. Wait: before the Excel spreadsheet, there was an unfortunate administration change at my old church. RHBC’s beloved senior pastor was retiring after a long career. And the new guy was (is) hard-charging, young, enthusiastic, with clear vision and purpose. Unfortunately, his vision didn’t include the outstanding choir director who had led our choir for the past 10+ years. After he was shown the door, I waited until Christmas, to sing in one last Christmas cantata. (I wouldn’t have done that again to witness the chaos resulting from a choir that wasn’t fully in sync with the director and vice versa – missed cues, botched songs. Ah, schadenfreude!) I waited some more, thinking we’d get a new permanent choir leader and everything would start afresh. When that didn’t happen, and the temporary director became the director, my last day was Easter Sunday 2018.

Here’s where the Excel spreadsheet came in. I put together a list of the requirements I was looking for in a church and decided to start visiting around. Here’s what I put them on a spreadsheet:

Continue reading “Moving toward the Spirit, part 6”
Beauty · Gratitude · Introspection · me · Something wonderful · Sunday lesson

Moving toward the Spirit, Part 4

This is the fourth in a multi-part series on how I grew in my Christian faith. See part 1, part 2, and part 3 to catch up.

Ah, the recycling. That and the fact I was pulled in so many directions, like most American teens, had a lot to do with my falling away from the faith for quite some time. I may have attended church during the college years, but it was a faith grown “lukewarm.” Yuck.

After graduation I moved to Savannah in early 1990 for my first job. Sad to say, part of my motivation for finding a church was 1) because the president of the place I interviewed at told me about important church was to him and 2) I was looking for one of those beautiful old churches in the historic district. Not too much on the actual faith part – more of a “looking good” type churchgoer. In a happy accident I wandered across one of the most spirit-filled churches of all, which just happened to be historic, beautiful, and blessed with a magnificent 60-rank Noack organ: Wesley Monumental Church. I was determined to go to a church with glorious music just once in my life!

Wesley Monumental at Christmas – I was lucky enough to sing in that choir
Continue reading “Moving toward the Spirit, Part 4”
Beauty · Gratitude · Introspection · me

Moving toward the Spirit, part 3

Third in a multi-part series See part 1 and part 2 to catch up.

Right after the high of the Youthciple experience, I really wasn’t sure what I was supposed to “do.” So, I just kept going to church. But certain things didn’t set well with me. First, I didn’t like how so many kids my age just started dropping out. It was hard to keep going to MYF when I knew so few people, and I wasn’t the most outgoing person to boot. They were all from different middle and high schools – I didn’t know them! And I didn’t like how so many things we were taught in Sunday School didn’t seem to play out in daily life.

Continue reading “Moving toward the Spirit, part 3”
Beauty · Gratitude · Introspection · me · Something wonderful

Moving toward the Spirit, part 1

This is the first of several parts.

I was a conscientious kid who loved going to church at Virginia Wingard Memorial United Methodist Church. My favorite parts were singing in the children’s choir and looking at the beautiful stained-glass windows when the sermons got boring. The windows depicted the life of Christ. As I remember there were seven or eight on each side. His birth in a stable was shown in the first one on the right, leading to his baptism by John in the next window, and so on down the right side and around to the left, culminating in his first resurrection appearance (or was it his ascension? I think that was it. I’m having trouble remembering) on the left closest to the front. Those stained-glass windows were an education in themselves, helping little kids who couldn’t pay attention to the sermon the basics of the faith in beautiful colored pictures that shone gloriously when the sun hit them just right.

I just looked all over the web for pictures of those beautiful windows and the best I can do is an image of someone’s wedding, when they aren’t even the focus. Besides, in 1990 the church redid the interior, changing the pew alignment, the choir arrangement and the color of the walls. Those windows will have to live on in my imagination. Because I can’t find a picture of that beautiful stained glass of my childhood, the header image is something just as glorious: the stained glass at Sainte-Chappelle in Paris. Be sure to click over to the site for the tour.

Learning to sing

Back in the early 70s kids’ choirs everywhere were singing “Do You Hear What I Hear” at Christmas. We did it for a big extravaganza presentation with the combined children’s and adult choirs. Our adult choir director and director of music, for many years, was Dr. Richard Conant, RIP, a wonderful singer, professor of voice at the University of South Carolina, and founding director of Carolina Alive.

Continue reading “Moving toward the Spirit, part 1”